In a move that has blindsided analysts, thrilled fans, and confused at least three assistant coaches, Milwaukee Bucks CEO Peter Feigin took to the podium this morning with a grin wider than the Fiserv Forum.
“Today, we usher in a new era,” Feigin announced, “by appointing Small Forward Andre Jackson Jr. as our new Senior Coaching Supervisor… while he continues playing, of course.”
The basketball world exploded.
👀 Wait, What’s a Senior Coaching Supervisor?
According to sources (none confirmed), the role of Senior Coaching Supervisor is entirely made up — but Feigin assured everyone it comes with tremendous responsibility and exactly 1.5 extra clipboard privileges.
“He’s got court vision. He’s got leadership. He’s got… Wi-Fi,” Feigin said. “He’s the future of player-coaches. Think LeBron James meets Gregg Popovich meets that one substitute P.E. teacher you actually liked.”
Jackson Jr., known for his defensive energy and vertical leap, accepted the role mid-practice after being handed a whistle and a laminated badge that read: “Coach-ish.”
“I just thought it was part of a drill,” Jackson Jr. admitted. “Next thing I know, they’re calling me Coach Jax and asking for timeouts.”
🏆 Fans React: “Give Him a Statue Already!”
Bucks Twitter went ballistic.
@BucksLifer34: “This is it. This is our dynasty arc. Player-coach era. Andre Jackson Jr is HIM. #CoachJax #FearTheDeer”
@GiannisBodyguard: “Just saw Andre call his own sub and draw up a play for himself. Legend.”
Meanwhile, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver has issued a statement saying the league has “no rule against it… yet.”
🔮 What’s Next for the Bucks?
Insiders say Jackson Jr. has already implemented changes, including:
- Mandatory trampoline warmups
- Locker room “TED Talks”
- Replacing chalkboards with touchscreens that only he has the password for
Though some critics are scratching their heads, Bucks head coach Doc Rivers reportedly “loves the energy” and has begun referring to himself as “Assistant to the Senior Coaching Supervisor.”
Leave a Reply