In a jaw-dropping announcement that has sent shockwaves through the NFL world, Baltimore Ravens Head Coach John Harbaugh has confirmed that star quarterback Lamar Jackson is leaving the NFL — and not for reasons anyone saw coming.
“It’s not an injury. It’s not a contract issue. Lamar just… found a new passion,” Harbaugh told reporters at an emergency press conference early Wednesday morning.
So where is the 2-time MVP and 2023 Super Bowl Champion headed?
“He’s leaving to pursue a full-time career as a professional Mario Kart player,” Harbaugh revealed, barely able to keep a straight face. “He said he’s mastered the field, now it’s time to master Rainbow Road.”
Yes, you read that right. According to insiders, Lamar Jackson has signed a streaming deal with a major eSports organization and plans to enter the Mario Kart World Championships in Japan later this year. Sources close to Jackson say he’s been training in secret for months and has already placed Top 10 in underground tournaments under the alias “LuigiLamar8.”
Fans are understandably stunned.
“I thought he was joking at first,” said Ravens wide receiver Zay Flowers. “But then I saw him practicing time trials in the locker room before games. His Wario game is legit.”
Social media erupted within minutes of the announcement, with hashtags like #MVPtoMario and #JacksonKartDrift trending worldwide.
What’s Next for the Ravens?
Coach Harbaugh admitted the team was “still processing the news,” but said backup quarterback Tyler Huntley is ready to step up.
“It’s a new era. Lamar’s chasing blue shells, and we’re chasing the playoffs,” Harbaugh said.
As for Jackson, he ended his brief statement with a grin:
“I’ve juked linebackers. Now I’m juking bananas. Let’s ride.”
Leave a Reply