In a monumental and truly unprecedented move, Arizona Cardinals Head Coach Jonathan Gannon has officially announced that All-Pro safety Budda Baker will take on a dual role — remaining a dominant force on defense and stepping in as the team’s new Offensive Coordinator.
“Why not?” said Gannon at this morning’s press conference. “He sees everything on the field anyway — might as well let him call the plays too.”
The decision comes after a rocky 1-2 start to the season, with the Cardinals offense ranking 30th in the league. The coaching staff reportedly held a “team brainstorming session” after last week’s loss, during which Baker jokingly scribbled an offensive play on a whiteboard. That play — a triple-reverse flea-flicker option pass — ended up working so well in practice that it sparked the wild idea.
Baker, known for crushing tackles, sideline-to-sideline speed, and general football wizardry, seemed unfazed.
“I hit people. I read offenses. I might as well run one too,” Baker said with a shrug. “Besides, how hard can it be? It’s just vibes and audibles, right?”
Responsibilities Double… Sort Of
Despite never having coached at any level, Baker will now be in charge of all offensive play-calling, game planning, and quarterback whispering. He’ll also reportedly be wearing a special headset that allows him to both call and hear the plays simultaneously — a setup the NFL has tentatively approved under the “Why Not?” clause.
Quarterback Kyler Murray is reportedly “on board” with the change and has been spotted training with Baker on Madden 25 simulation scenarios.
“If he can read the Seahawks’ offense in real time, he can probably read a coverage or two for us,” Murray said. “And if it doesn’t work, I’ll just run.”
Around the League: Mixed Reactions
NFL coaches around the league responded with a mix of confusion and curiosity.
Bill Belichick declined to comment, though sources say he muttered something about “finally… someone gets it.”
Meanwhile, former players are calling Baker “the Deion Sanders of coaching,” and social media has exploded with memes of Baker drawing plays in the dirt like it’s a backyard game.
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