In a move that has sent shockwaves across the hockey world, Florida Panthers Chief Operating Officer Rob Stevenson has officially announced the team’s new head coach — and no one saw this coming.
“We are proud to welcome Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as the next Head Coach of the Florida Panthers,” Stevenson declared at a hastily organized press conference held outside Amerant Bank Arena. Cameras flashed. Fans gasped. NHL Twitter imploded.
Yes, that Dwayne Johnson.
A Shocking Playbook Shift
Stevenson addressed the stunned media crowd with his usual calm demeanor.
“We believe in thinking outside the penalty box. Dwayne brings unparalleled intensity, discipline, and locker room charisma — and if you’ve ever seen him do a ‘People’s Elbow,’ you know he understands physicality.”
While Johnson has zero professional hockey experience, Stevenson insists that’s not a concern.
“He didn’t need to know wrestling to become The Rock. He doesn’t need to know hockey to become The Coach.”
NHL Reactions Pour In
Around the league, reactions have ranged from confused to comically furious:
- Wayne Gretzky tweeted: “What?”
- Connor McDavid was seen mouthing “No way” during a preseason warmup.
- A statement from the NHLPA simply read: “We are evaluating.”
However, some players on the Panthers roster are reportedly excited by the new direction.
“Coach Rock told us the only line changes we’ll be seeing are ‘SmackDown’ to ‘Raw,’” said Panthers forward Matthew Tkachuk. “I’m terrified, but motivated.”
Training Camp… Hollywood Style
Sources say Johnson plans to overhaul training methods — including mandatory 5AM workouts, inspirational speeches mid-period, and scrimmages refereed by Kevin Hart.
The Panthers’ first practice under Johnson is scheduled for next week, with expectations ranging from Stanley Cup or bust to total cinematic chaos.
Leave a Reply