In a shocking turn of events just breaking this afternoon, NBA superstar and Milwaukee Bucks power forward Giannis Antetokounmpo has officially been banned from all basketball activities by league officials after reportedly testing positive for…
…being too dominant on the court.
Yes, you read that right. The NBA has declared the Greek Freak a “threat to competitive balance” following his latest string of unreal performances, including a triple-double while blindfolded, a full-court dunk, and allegedly blocking his own teammate just to keep things interesting.
“His physical gifts are no longer within the scope of human regulation,” said one anonymous league executive. “He’s evolving too quickly. It’s not fair to the rest of the league—or physics.”
Sources inside the NBA suggest the league is now considering implementing “Giannis Protocols”, a new set of rules specifically designed to limit players who are “too superhuman for human sports.”
In response to the ban, Giannis simply smiled and said, “It’s okay, I’ll try water polo. Or maybe become an Avenger.”
Bucks fans are currently staging a candlelight vigil outside Fiserv Forum, demanding the league #FreeTheFreak.
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