THIS IS THE BEST NEWS WE COULD HOPE FOR: Collingwood Australian Football League (AFL) Legend Kevin Sheedy has Returns as Chief Executive Officer In a monumental announcement, Collingwood Head Coach Craig McRae family And AFL Community has officially declared that H……. view more

In a move that has stunned the footy world and sent Magpie fans into a frenzy, Collingwood Football Club has confirmed that AFL legend Kevin Sheedy is making an unlikely and dramatic return — this time, not to the field, but to the front office — as the new Chief Executive Officer of the club.

The announcement was made early Thursday morning during a surprise press conference at the Holden Centre, where current Head Coach Craig McRae, flanked by family members and AFL dignitaries, said what many thought they’d never hear:

“Sheeds is back — and he’s not just back, he’s the boss now.”

Sources say the deal was finalized over a handshake, a meat pie, and a casual kick-to-kick behind the clubrooms.

A Hero Returns

Kevin Sheedy, 77, whose AFL legacy spans decades as a player, coach, and part-time philosopher, famously led Essendon to multiple premierships — but his move to Collingwood marks what he calls “a spiritual homecoming to the dark side.”

“I’ve always admired Collingwood,” Sheedy said. “From a safe distance.”

He continued, “Now I get to run the place. I’ve got some wild ideas. First things first — we’re turning the goalposts upside down and bringing back the torpedo.”

Sheedy’s Vision

Though details of Sheedy’s 100-day plan remain confidential, leaks suggest an aggressive strategy that includes:

• Installing hot pies and cold beers in the coaches’ box
• Renaming the team “The Flying Magpies”
• Recruiting retired legends to run laps “just for the nostalgia”
• Introducing a mandatory mullet policy for all rookies

Community Reaction

AFL fans across the country have reacted with a mix of shock, joy, and mild confusion.

“Wait, didn’t he coach Essendon?” said one bewildered Carlton supporter. “Is this allowed?”

Meanwhile, Collingwood fans took to the streets — mostly Smith Street — chanting “Sheedy! Sheedy!” and waving homemade banners reading “From Bomber to Boss!”

Craig McRae’s Statement

Coach McRae was all smiles:

“We’re thrilled. Kevin brings decades of experience, legendary status, and frankly, some absolutely wild ideas. It’s going to be chaotic — in the best way.”

When asked how Sheedy would adjust to the modern AFL business environment, McRae responded:

“Honestly? He’s already tried to ban spreadsheets and bring in chalkboards. It’s vintage Sheedy.”