BREAKING NEWS: Oneil Cruz Launches Ball So Far It Becomes New International Space Station……

In an event scientists are calling “utterly baffling” and MLB fans are calling “peak Cruz,” Pittsburgh Pirates shortstop Oneil Cruz has reportedly hit a baseball into low Earth orbit, where it has since been reclassified by NASA as the “International Space Station 2.0”.

The incident occurred in the bottom of the 4th inning during Sunday’s game against the Minnesota Twins. On a 2-1 fastball, Cruz connected with a pitch that Statcast initially recorded at exit velocity: ??? mph and launch angle: “LOL.”

“I Heard a Sonic Boom”

Pirates manager Derek Shelton described the moment with awe.

“I heard a crack, then a sonic boom, then silence. We all looked up and… nothing. The ball was gone. It just disappeared into the sky. I think we all knew something special had happened,” said Shelton, pausing to wipe away what might have been a tear or an eyelash.

Fans at PNC Park reported losing sight of the ball almost instantly, though several claimed to feel their phones buzz from a SpaceX alert shortly after the hit.

NASA Issues Statement

NASA released an emergency press release at 4:12 PM ET confirming that a “small, white object with red stitching” had entered Earth’s orbit at approximately Mach 38.

“At first, we thought it was space debris,” said NASA flight director Carla Jennings. “But after reviewing telescope footage, we identified the object as an MLB-authenticated Rawlings baseball. It’s currently orbiting 263 miles above Earth’s surface. Congratulations to Mr. Cruz on his, uh… launch.”

The agency confirmed the ball has already passed over Europe, parts of Asia, and one very confused Canadian goose.

Elon Musk Weighs In

Not to be left out, Elon Musk tweeted:

“That Oneil Cruz homer had more range than Starlink. Might sign him to SpaceX.”

The tweet received 83 million views and a confused reply from Mark Cuban reading, “Is this real?”

Cruz Remains Humble

Speaking after the game, Cruz was characteristically chill:

“I just try to square it up, you know? I guess I got all of that one. Maybe too much. Hope the aliens like baseball.”

Asked what he plans to do next, Cruz simply smiled and replied, “Try to keep it in the stadium next time. Maybe Mars after that.”

What Happens Now?

NASA has officially declared the baseball a “long-term orbital utility object” and plans to outfit it with solar panels and AI-powered cameras to monitor Earth weather patterns. The newly minted “CruzStation” will begin broadcasting in August and might even get its own TikTok.

Meanwhile, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred has confirmed that the hit counts as a home run, but will not be reviewed for fan interference, citing lack of jurisdiction beyond the stratosphere.

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